CAR HUMOR
We all need a laugh here and there. So today I built a collection of everything funny that's car related. It's almost the weekend! SO SMILE!
What NOT to say when being pulled over...
“Hey, I’m glad you’re here. Can you tell me how fast I was going? My speedometer stops at 130.”
A man requests a new car, with the specification that “it should be fast. Like, really fast. I want to be able to go from 0 to 150 in 2 seconds flat!”
The wife then leaves the room. Confused, the man stands in silence for a moment, until the wife comes back into the room and throws a bathroom scale onto the floor.
“There! You want 0 to 150 in 2 seconds? Stand on this and you’re good.”
Two old and bitter rivals, Jeremy and Richard, happen to get into a car wreck on a deserted road far from town. They get out, check the damage, then confront each other. Jeremy speaks up, “You know, old foe, this wreck has made me realize: we’re lucky. This fighting is so trivial compared to the beauty that is life. Let’s end it. Here, have a drink with me. Take a mighty swig.” He pulls out a flask and hands it to Richard.
“Filled with emotion, Richard gladly accepts. He takes a good, healthy pull of the booze and hands it back to Jeremy. But Jeremy caps the bottle and throws it in the ditch.
“What are you doing?” Richard asks. “You’re not going to have a drink?”
“Nah, I think I’ll just wait for the cops to go through their breathalyzer tests first.”
Q: What does the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 mph. (Fords, do the best you can.)
If your Bentley is taking up 2 parking spaces, then okay. I get it. But a Toyota Prius? I feel obligated to deflate your tires now.
A guy walks into a dealership sounding like he's furious and demands to know, "Who's the strongest in here?"
The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Oh sweet, can you help me push my car to the gas station then?"
The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Oh sweet, can you help me push my car to the gas station then?"
"Whoever owns this truck must be one awesome dude. Not only is it a F-350, it's got gigantic testicles hanging off its bumper. Clearly, its owner is a tasteful, understated gentleman who knows he has a sweet ride, but wants to advertise it discretely by letting his nutz hang out for the world to admire. Thank you F-350 owner, for showing us just how much of a man your really are."
AND IF ALL THAT WASN'T ENOUGH
HERE IS A...
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